I tell you every holiday season that it's hard for our family. I do my best to share a piece of what the holiday season is like and how the toy drive affects our family directly. I work hard at getting you to consider the fact that there are kids, very sick kids, sitting in a hospital wondering what Christmas is going to be like in a fluorescent lighted room surrounded by hospital staff and other sick kids. And I ask. I ask and I ask and I ask. I ask because someone should. I ask because I have personal experience I want to share in place of others having to experience it to understand. I ask because giving really can be better than receiving.
But every year I get worried and doubtful. I bug the hubby with my worries and what-ifs and every year he helps me calm down and put things in perspective. But until the day we leave for Sacred Heart, I am haunted with the question, "What if people don't donate?" I know what it's like to be on a tight budget, how many great causes, fundraisers, and events are out there and all the other completely understandable reasons that someone would not donate to Sutton's toy drive. And every year I wonder if this will be the year that we go backwards, we have less toys than the year before and maybe some of the children don't have a chance to shop and give to family or even choose something for themselves.
It's inevitable that it will happen. Some years will be banner years and some years we might not need a trailer. However, I know that what is important is that we were able to do something, no matter how small. But the honest truth is that concept is a hard reality for me to deal with.
So I will be forthright with you...I have hit the nervous stage. Unfortunately it was a series of events that lead me here a little earlier this year. Last Saturday I shared some of the fun things that downtown Kennewick was hosting and was hoping that might be a great opportunity for those wanting to donate to drop a toy at our downtown location and win hockey tickets. It was something new we tried this year - another way of saying thanks for donating. It wasn't quite the success I had hoped for, not even close. The thought behind giving back to someone who donated still exists, the people who gave that day are just as important as anyone else who has decided to give. But it was the first time I checked on a bin and because of the excitement I have, I thought it would be overflowing with toys. I was wrong, and I began to get nervous. Later that day I found that all the bins were barely filled. I got more nervous.
The next day, Sunday, I tried to do some Christmas shopping of my own and UGH! It's the first year that I have Christmas shopped on a weekend in years. I was met with frustrated parents, frowns that met my smiles, lines 45 minutes long and very little holiday cheer. I left 4 different stores for various reasons and opted to shop online. I did however want to stop by Wal-Mart to pick up a couple things and check on toy prices. WHOA! Although my kids have way more than they ever need, I don't shop for toys all that often and when I do I never pay full price. So, as most of you probably already know, everything is so stinkin expensive! The wheels in my head started to turn and I began to wonder if this was why donations have been low so far this year. Needing to once again bug the hubby with my worries, I decided to head home. As I was putting a grocery bags in the car I dropped my keys as I shut the door.
Yep - there I was without my coat or purse, at night in the cold, locked out of my car. Thank goodness I had my phone and made the needed phone calls to get it unlocked. (To answer your question, no I do not have a spare as my precious 7 yo was playing with it when he was around 1 and it has never been seen again. So we have decided to live on the wild side all these years and never get a spare. Joke's on me.) Okay, so there I am standing in the cold while waiting the 45 minutes (which is their 15) it took for someone to arrive and unlock my door. I was smart, I had parked under a lamp next to a cart return. I also happen to be one of those festive people who have antlers and a red nose on my car. So I'm safe and non-threatening but believe me I looked a little stranded and cold. Slowly something began to happen that was disheartening on so many levels. There were a number of people who parked near me or returned their carts and not one asked if I needed help. Not one. Don't get me wrong, if a guy walked up and offered to let me stay warm in his truck while I waited I would have said no, but for me it was about the offer. I found myself standing there feeling pretty dumb, freezing and allowing the wheels to turn again. I'm not one to stick my nose in someone's business, but I'm absolutely going to see if I can be of help whenever the occasion arises. And I don't always need to be asked for help, I know it's a responsibility. However, I began to think that maybe that's not how most people think. Maybe people were just as upset about the cost of holiday giving and left the store frustrated, maybe they ran in for something quick and it took forever and were now running late or maybe people are getting to the point where they are only concerned about themselves and who or what is within arm's length.
Once I was back in my car and all warmed up I started to think about the toy drive again. Based on my recent parking lot experience I wondered if people just weren't interested in investing in those around them that needed help unless it was one of their own. Maybe that's why people weren't donating.
Needless to say, I was nervous and frustrated when I went to bed Sunday night. I am surrounded by the most amazing people who are family, friends and acquaintances. They have supported us on so many levels over the last five years. They have given generously to the toy drive each year. But this is the second year that we have really tried to reach outside that circle to help Sacred Heart provide smiles at a time when there is nothing else we can do. I found myself lying there wondering if I had failed. Wondering if strangers were failing me and all those children. Questioning if our society believes it's all of our responsibility to take care of one another or only take care of yourself and yours.
That went down a rabbit hole - ridiculous right?
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| This is me - just so you know what you are dealing with. |
I slept on that thought and woke with a new attitude and approach. I can only do my best. It's perfectly okay to have expectations but that needs to be accompanied by perspective. As well as the understanding that I may get disappointed sometimes.
I went back to basics - what's important to me and what can I do about it. I want to put as many toys into the hands of children that are fighting for their health as well as their siblings that are watching their brother or sister suffer. I asked myself what I can control. I can't control how expensive things are these days. I can't control how much money someone has in their pocket. I can't control what someone chooses to spend their money on. But being a single income family I can be creative with a dollar. I definitely know how to make the most of what I've got.
A board game can cost around $20. Maybe that's a little more than what someone has or is willing to spend and therefore they don't put it in their cart. But if two people worked together and donated $10 each, we could get that game. That has always been the answer - work together.
Here is my proposal. This is the last shopping weekend before we head to Spokane, so if you can pick up a toy - awesome! If that isn't something you can do, let me suggest something else. Right now there are over 400 people who have liked our Facebook page Laughter Through Tears. If half of you logged on to our GoFundMe site and donated $10 we would have an additional $2000 dollars to shop with (minus the site fee). Let that sink in for a minute.
We are loading up the toys on Wednesday, December 17th and heading to the hospital the next day. I will be taking all the financial contributions and shopping on December 16th. So in case you haven't already donated or shopped please consider working together and my $10 proposal. For those that have shopped already, we will be available for drop offs if you give us a heads up or you can leave them at any of our drop off locations.
As always, thank you!
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